I’ve been waiting on myself to begin. I knew it was time to get back to this and I knew it was time for a shift. I shut down the old blog, bought a new name, and created a new site. A new chapter. But how to begin, Becca, how to start. The pressure. Y’all are like,...
My mom died on April 1, just a little over two weeks ago. I don’t know which cliché to use – does it feel like yesterday or years? Both, I guess. My mom was a young 74 and did all the healthy things – the exercising, the kale, the vitamins, the check-ups. I look like...
Well, it had to come. Some of you readers have been with me for a while now. You’ve read these random blogs and followed along on Facebook as Jax came home from China, was diagnosed with all the things, and proceeded to grow up into a teenage boy. He’s gone from...
So we’re homeschooling over here. It’s going really well, I’d say. We have great people, Jax’s anxiety is at an all-time low, he’s happy, he’s inquisitive, and importantly, he’s learning things that are relevant to his 14 year-old-life and skills he’ll use for his...
I have sucked as a parent lately. Truth. 'Tis the season for holiday lights and wrapping paper and for mom to be a stressed out asshole. That should be a Christmas carol. “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaayyyyy. My mom’s annoyed at everyone, please bring...
Dear Jax,It's Gotcha Day, little dude. We adopted you eleven years ago today. I love this day, but this year's celebration is bittersweet. Your grandmother died on Friday night. Your dad's mom, Grandma Mary. This year's Gotcha Day will be a little less inflatable...
Johnny made it to his Army base on Monday. Other moms are messaging me tips to survive boot camp, linking me to Facebook groups, introducing me to people who can show me the ropes. It's lovely, but I’m in a different sort of situation. “Hi Martha with your...
A day or two ago, Jax had an appointment with a psychiatrist. Jax has never met this man before, but I have, and I like him a lot. He regurgitates mountains of stuff from memory, has a Harvard degree, and is smart, smart, smart. All good stuff when you’re a mom...
Johnny, I've been down at the Capitol this past week fighting for a bill that would expedite the adoption of older kids. I'm pretty invested in it because you and I went through this. We had nine months to make your adoption happen, and had I not already had a giant...
And I quote: "And after fourteen years of foster care, Johnny was getting all As and Bs in school, happily helping around the house, had checking and savings accounts, and looking for his first job - all within just a few months of being adopted into a family. "...
I've spent the last few days outlining an open letter to the person who hurt Jax. A real doozy of a piece, cleverly called "Dear Person Who Hurt My Child." I was going to write and publish it this morning, throw it all out there and let the internet lovelies react to...
The adult who hurt my son will not be charged. I'm a lawyer. I get it. There are no witnesses, no physical evidence, and Jax ...well, Jax isn't the best witness. At 13, Jax still believes that Noelle the Naughty Elf stole my car keys and tried to take my...
I am a Helicopter Mom. No shame here, no self-deprecating humor, there is really no other option for this child tornado of mine. Maybe helicopter isn't the right word, I think I'm more like the car with the flashing lights that travels behind the Wide Load truck on...
I was coming out of an Ace Hardware the other day - feeling super handy, I might add - and on the way to my car, I saw a woman standing by a table raising money. It was a legit 100-gazillion degrees in Phoenix and I was entirely prepared to do the polite smile...
I was sick this week. Throwing up throughout the night, curled up in fetal position at the base of the toilet, not sure how clean the bath mat is, I do not even care, I will never eat blue cheese in a salad again, SICK. Being sick as an adult is lousy. Being sick as a...
Dear Johnny, I know this isn't where you thought you would be at age 17. Still in the foster system, a day pass on your birthday, preparing to be shuffled around again, and then again and again. I know. As a child, you must have thought ahead to 17 and pictured your...
Last week, a family asked about adopting my foster son, Johnny. A family. Adoption. This was a big deal for a sixteen year old foster kid who moved in with me last month because he had nowhere else to go and had every intention of aging out of the system as an orphan....
I had a moment recently. My son, Jax, and I had been in the car running errands for a few hours. I was singing along to the Beatles channel when Jax said, "Mom, I'm hungry." Well, yeah, breakfast was a hurried cup of yogurt three hours ago so that's reasonable....
A teenage boy is coming to live with me. Today. In eight hours, I will be an official foster parent. It's been only a few months, but I have notes upon notes about my short experience so far with this child welfare system of ours. I can't wrap my head around how we...
Last week, I was in my favorite place in the world with my 15-person family. Every few years, we head to a ranch in the mountains of Colorado. We've been going here since I was a little girl, and there is truly no place I would rather be. I told my clients I was out,...
I volunteered to go to an education meeting last week with a foster kid. This kid was in high school and not too interested in me at first. I didn't blame him, I'd never met him before and this was a child who lives in a constantly-changing world with...
It was late-September of 2008 when we brought my son home from China, just two months before December and our sparkly, over-the-top, American-style Christmas season. My little boy had no idea what Christmas was. He had no idea who Santa was. Hell,...
This time of year, man. It’s stressful and chaotic and my annual intention of providing a Pinterest-perfect Christmas lasts about a day and a half until I decide that F-bombs will definitely help me assemble the gingerbread house. Ahhh, December. This year, the...
Jax’s eighth Gotcha Day is coming up. “Gotcha Day” is the anniversary of Jax’s adoption from China. It’s the day Jax became our son, and like good adoptive parents, we celebrate. Jax gets a few presents, we decorate, we eat pizza and cake, we participate in general...
I was at a Ross the other day. I love Ross. There is one by my son's school, and on the days I don't feel like laptopping at Starbucks, I walk around in their exceptional summer air conditioning while having riveting conversations with myself about my need for their...
This content has been archived. It may no longer be relevant
Let’s talk about this Disney issue, shall we? Some background…
Disney recently changed their policy for disabled guests. For about the last ten years, up until this past October, a disabled individual could get a Disney “Guest Assistance Pass” (GAP). The pass allowed that person and their family to skip the lines and get on a ride without a wait.
This system was tremendously abused.
Because of the abuse (and following the tough-to-ignore exposé on Today), Disney replaced the GAP system with a Disability Access Service Card (DAS) . The DAS works like a Fast Pass. Families with a DAS do not move to the head of the line, but make a reservation for a ride, and come back at the given time.
The special needs community has been up in arms. In the last few months, Disney has morphed from Cinderella into Cruella de Vil.
Guys, we’re mad at the wrong people.
Disney’s original program was a gift. It went above and beyond what any law required, was created by accident, and yet Disney gave this gift to people with special needs and their families so they could get maximum enjoyment from the parks. (Want more background? Here.) And what happened? People who could get the passes “rented” themselves out to able-bodied families, and off they all traipsed through the Magical Kingdom, skipping lines. These people took Disney’s gift, and then kicked Disney right in the mouth with it. And now we, the special needs community, are trying to demonize Disney? C’mon.
I do understand the effect this new system has on special needs guests. I really do. In fact, Disney’s new system effectively prevents my family from taking a Disney vacation. My son could manage a Disney park using this new system about as well as I could manage skydiving with a parachute made of mesh. And I am plenty mad about it. I’m just not mad at Disney.
I am mad at the people who capitalized on Disney’s generosity. My sword is not aimed at Disney, but at the people who actually stole Disney from special needs kids. I am mad at every disabled person who acted as a rent-a-guide, every family that paid for this service, and every person who waltzed up to Guest Services and faked a disability. These are the bad guys, folks. Feel free to disagree, but from what I can tell, Disney had a much-publicized problem to resolve, worked with the nation’s leading disability advocacy groups to do so, and designed a legally-compliant, workable system that the criminally-minded and selfish can’t hack as easily. Is it as good as it was before? Nope. But we don’t get to blame Disney for having to fix a problem that it didn’t create.
(I read more than one article whose authors believed that the actions of the people who abused the system for personal profit were justified because there are not enough opportunities for the disabled in the workplace. Are you kidding me? Well, good. I will tell my son that if he can’t find a job later on, it is okay for him to become morally bankrupt. Kiddo, forget all the awareness-raising efforts of the last few decades that are paving the way for more employment opportunities for you, just go rob a bank. Apparently, we will all blame the bank anyway.)
To the people who sold out for personal gain? Shame on you. You owe every single kid who just lost a dream vacation an apology. You owe all the parents who have to break their kids’ hearts an apology. You have a lot of karma to make up, my friends.
To the rest of us? I think we owe Disney an apology.
Sincerely,
Becca
Disney’s DAS Card Fact Sheet:
Becca, I can totally understand what you are saying. However if you do further searching into the matter you find that their former system was also broken, meaning it was open up to fraud from all aspects. Not only were people hiring the disabled, CMs were giving the GAC to friends and or selling them. For me, I am not angry at Disney for changing their policy. I agree it was beyond the call of accommodations and because it was so easy to fraud the system, so yes that needed to be changed. I am angry with Disney because of the way it was handled. They have done little to change the ability to fraud the system and if you read some of the stuff on the internet, blogs message boards, etc you will see this. The picture added to the DAS is the only thing that really eliminates the fraud. Many years ago, I haven’t been lately so I don’t know if this still exists, but Magic Mountain (CA) used to have signs posted throughout the park that if you cut in line you will be removed from the park. Now that is taking action! Disney has punished the disabled rather than those who violated the system, Is that fair? The non- disabled that used to get a GAC, some still are, now are still enjoying the park they just have to stand in line longer. Shortly after the change and very frustrated with the system, I asked the question that had been driving me crazy. “What happened to someone who was caught in the act of abusing the system?” In other words if they see a teenager (this actually was seen) jump out of the wheelchair and tell their buddy “Your turn to be in the wheelchair.” What would happen to these guys? Becca, what would you guess? When I asked a Disney Guest Services CM this question she was hesitant to answer, I then continued saying “Would these guys get kicked out of the park, or what?” She actually chuckled at that question, which of course made the hair on the back of my neck stand up! ” No absolutely not, we rarely kick anyone out of the park, we would just take away their GAC.” So what has happened is people like that get a slap on the wrist, if even that, and get to continue to enjoy the magic while those of us who need it like my child, are kicked out of the park. ( No not actually, kicked out but the fact that the DAS has made it difficult or impossible to go to the park, in theory we are! So that is why I am angry, and blame Disney. Parents have shared their experiences and offered suggestions on deaf mickey ears. It is very sad and unfortunate! Thank you Becca!
I love an eloquent, thoughtful comment! (I really, really do.) Thank you!
I did research the issue of whether Disney punished fraudulent pass users. Unfortunately, because I am trying to write an essay and not a novel (ha), I was forced to limit how much of my total research (which was a ton) made it into this post. What I learned was that Disney employees were instructed not to question disability pass users because of liability concerns. I get this. If employees are put in the position of determining who is “really disabled,” and who is not, Disney just opened themselves up to a host of lawsuits. I’m not saying it’s fair, but that’s our legal system. I can’t fault Disney for not calling out guests that they think are abusing the pass because, as you and I know, not every disabled person is in a wheelchair.
There will always be a way to defraud any system, anywhere. My understanding is that with the DAS, it is tougher to do. Further, people aren’t as excited to scam a DAS when it doesn’t eliminate lines. Is it perfect? Not at all.
Disney is in a lose-lose position. They can’t go back to the old system, they can’t ask for verification of disabilities, and they can’t ask their employees to gauge who is disabled and who is not. All I read are problems and complaints. What are the solutions we, as a special needs community, are offering? Or are we just complaining, pointing the finger and threatening litigation? I wouldn’t come to that table either, if I were Disney.
I entered this issue with an open mind, and love the discussion! I absolutely value your thoughts. My hope is that a solution to this issue can be reached (assuming the DAS isn’t the final word), and that it doesn’t involve years and years of costly litigation.
Becca
p.s. I just gave you mad props on Facebook. You go, girl!
I hope one day to get to Disney, my 6 yr old son is ASD. I truly believe that we can still go someday. It will require a lot more planning and organizing and ensuring that we are prepared to entertain both my son and daughter who is NT. I honestly think she’ll be the more difficult:)
You are right though we had something amazing offered by Disney and now we’re mad that they had to take it away. When they still had it I thought that it may make Disney a little easier but felt guilty as well, knowing that my son is easily entertained, so I would feel as though I was a cheater.
Maybe I have my head in the clouds, but I do think it is still possible to enjoy a great family vacation at Disney with my kids!
Nicole, thank you for the comment! I’m not ruling it out – but you’re right, it will take lots more planning. But if there is one thing we moms are pretty good at…it’s planning.
Finally…someone that can see the forest for the trees!! Thank you! You, my friend, have your priorities straight.
Brenda Rhodes-Sent from my iPad
>
So clearly, you are tonight’s favorite person…!
I have been in constant contact with Disney DAS services preparing for our WDW vacation in May. My son is 8 with Down Syndrome and a year out from leukemia treatment. He has low endurance, heat intolerance. I am worried, but trying to be open minded. We used the DAS once when he was 3 and then Nate’s Make a Wish trip was last year. We can plan, but sometimes my best laid plans are thwarted by Nate and what he needs, etc. I am trying to be helpful and have made suggestions to Disney. I am hoping that by May, there are further changes to the system. I do feel like my son has been punished by the violators of the system. In our world, Nate is the child that doesn’t get invited to parties, has very few close friends. At Disney, he was special… that has been taken away. I hope some of the magic comes back for my son and other “special” kids like him. I appreciate your point of view and will continue to communicate openly with Disney to try and amend the system at hand.
As a frequent Disney visitor with a child with autism, I truly think that there is a better way. Something that is between what they had and what they have now. Maybe they could allow guests with this pass to put more than one time at a time on it. I am glad that they put the picture on it.
For those that are coming from out of state, investigate the use of the fast pass plus in conjunction with this pass. It may allow you to enjoy more of the park.
Thank you for a proper perspective on things.